Hollow spot

Hey man,

I woke up this morning

Missing your arms,

An impossibility because

I never had them 

Benefit not included.

I loved you,

in some way. 

Probably in the way

a dandelion 

loves a small child. 

On the last day

You're the moment i decided 

To become something better. 

Towels should always be warm

1; I like him. 

2; he's mostly easy. 

3; there might be something wrong with me. 

Winter is here

I went to bed feeling beautiful,

Knowing it was ended. 

I want you

To want me the way

My stomach drops in 

Inches fluttering,

Recalling your quasi-affectionate 

Hand absent from my knee,

Or the salt bitter scent of

Your cum on my cheek;

With the familiar burn of foolish tears

Of self-loathing, blinked back 

Into the streetlights home;

Craving your disaffected touch, 

The distance tangible, and the way I 

Imagine a professional stranger carries out his craft, a job well done;

Always regretting the solitary goodbye at your door, you lay contentedly warm as I let myself out. 

I want you to want me. 

In a bath with the window open

I wasn't going to

keep your texts,

but I did. 

Who needed that

record of evidence,

I thought. 

But I did. 

I wasn't going to

get attached to those

words,

But I did. 

I wasn't going to 

like you, 

but, anyway, I did. 

Nor was I going to 

think of you often,

too often,
recounting, and recalling,

and I wasn't going to 

sometimes 

gasp aloud

upon that recollection,

but I did. 

I most certainly did. 

I self-promised I would 

not miss you,

but I did. 

I tried not to

like you, too much,

but I did. 

And I really wasn't 

going to, 

but I have.